Pinxo Panxum dixit:
Cum punxeorum te punxarero volest?
Panxo Pinxum dixit:
Punxat, sed non panxal.
This isn't really Latin. My Papa wrote this (he's invented it himself) during a supper to show it to my sister, and I wanted to see it too. I thought it was very funny, IF you know what's it about... :) Have a nice time, ANONYMUS! :) :) :)
Saturday, 28 April 2007
Friday, 27 April 2007
Hey Everyone!
My dear friends, family and everyone else!! It's only a week fro my birthday EXACTLY from this point (10:20 p.m.). I AM SO IMPATIENT!! This is also because most of my friends told me "I'll send you something for your birthday", and things like that, and also because Mummy always plans something different for each of our birthdays (she has six birthdays to plan!!) So you can understand my impatience... I am so happy, and grateful to have my family and all my friends...!
And well, I'm going to be FOURTEEN!!!!!! When I was ten, I used to think, "Boy, my sister is fourteen. Wow, she is so old! What a responsibility!" And now, wow, I am the one who is going to be fourteen... AND I'M SO HAPPY!!!
I just can't seem to wait... A month ago, when I was at my friend's house, in Madrid, and it was late at night but we were still talking, I used to exclaim, only a month for my birthday!! And I am already here... ONLY A WEEK FOR MY BIRTHDAY!!
During today's lunch Mummy told me that she had dreamed that it was already my birthday, and that the post was PACKED with bumpy letters and big parcels with my name written all over it... So I'm not the only one who is expecting this special day! (At least for me...)
I know two people who were born the same day as me... A friend from Colorado, and my Papa's cousin. I have them in my mind so... If you are the one that I'm talking about, don't be surprised if you find an e-mail waiting for you... :-)
And well, I'm going to be FOURTEEN!!!!!! When I was ten, I used to think, "Boy, my sister is fourteen. Wow, she is so old! What a responsibility!" And now, wow, I am the one who is going to be fourteen... AND I'M SO HAPPY!!!
I just can't seem to wait... A month ago, when I was at my friend's house, in Madrid, and it was late at night but we were still talking, I used to exclaim, only a month for my birthday!! And I am already here... ONLY A WEEK FOR MY BIRTHDAY!!
During today's lunch Mummy told me that she had dreamed that it was already my birthday, and that the post was PACKED with bumpy letters and big parcels with my name written all over it... So I'm not the only one who is expecting this special day! (At least for me...)
I know two people who were born the same day as me... A friend from Colorado, and my Papa's cousin. I have them in my mind so... If you are the one that I'm talking about, don't be surprised if you find an e-mail waiting for you... :-)
Wednesday, 25 April 2007
A Leetl Problem...
Dear everyone who check this blog frequently (and not so frequently):
It is my sad obligation to tell you that I won't be able to post photos of our trip to Madrid. I have found many complications in the process I used to use when I wanted to post a photo on the blog, and after trying for the hundredth time I decided that this didn't happen just for the sake of it. The errors on the programme, the suddenly disappearance of everything I had done until now... Well, I decided that God didn't want me to do this, so what I'll do is... tell you that...
If anyone wants photos from Madrid, and by the way, a copy of the journal I wrote, e-mail me, and I will make it reach you.
Have a good day.
Gem of the Jampot has spoken.
It is my sad obligation to tell you that I won't be able to post photos of our trip to Madrid. I have found many complications in the process I used to use when I wanted to post a photo on the blog, and after trying for the hundredth time I decided that this didn't happen just for the sake of it. The errors on the programme, the suddenly disappearance of everything I had done until now... Well, I decided that God didn't want me to do this, so what I'll do is... tell you that...
If anyone wants photos from Madrid, and by the way, a copy of the journal I wrote, e-mail me, and I will make it reach you.
Have a good day.
Gem of the Jampot has spoken.
Saturday, 14 April 2007
A Poem I Like
The Glove and the Lions,
By Leagh Hunt
King Fransis was a hearty king, and loved a royal sport.
And one day, as his lions fought, sat looking on the court.
The nobles filled the benches with the ladies in their pride,
And amongst them sat the Count De'Lorge with one for whom he sighed.
And truly t’was a gallant thing, to see that crowning show,
Valour, and love, and the king above, and the royal beasts below.
Ramped and roared the lion, with horrid laughing jaws.
They bit, they glared, gave blows like beams, and a wind went with their paws.
With wallowing might, and stifled roar, they rolled on one-another,
Till all the pit, with sand and mane, was in a thunderous smother!
The bloody foam above the bars came whisking through the air.
Said Fransis then, "Faith gentlemen! We're better here then there!"
De'Lorge's love ore’heard the king,
A beauteous, lively dame,
With smiling lips and sharp bright eyes which always seemed the same.
She thought, "The Count my lover is as brave as brave can be,
He would surely do wondrous things to prove his love for me,
Kings, ladies, lovers all look on!
The time is divine!
I'll drop my glove, to prove his love! Great glory will be mine!"
She dropped her glove, to prove his love, then looked at him and smiled.
He bowed, and in a moment, leaped among the lions wild!
The leap was quick, the return was quick, he had regained his place.
He threw the glove, but not with love, right in the lady's face!
"In truth!" cried Fransis, "Rightly done!" as he rose from where he sat.
"No love love," quoth he, "but vanity sets a lover task like that!"
My best friend sent me this poem once, because she thought I would like it. And I did. I hope you do too!!
By Leagh Hunt
King Fransis was a hearty king, and loved a royal sport.
And one day, as his lions fought, sat looking on the court.
The nobles filled the benches with the ladies in their pride,
And amongst them sat the Count De'Lorge with one for whom he sighed.
And truly t’was a gallant thing, to see that crowning show,
Valour, and love, and the king above, and the royal beasts below.
Ramped and roared the lion, with horrid laughing jaws.
They bit, they glared, gave blows like beams, and a wind went with their paws.
With wallowing might, and stifled roar, they rolled on one-another,
Till all the pit, with sand and mane, was in a thunderous smother!
The bloody foam above the bars came whisking through the air.
Said Fransis then, "Faith gentlemen! We're better here then there!"
De'Lorge's love ore’heard the king,
A beauteous, lively dame,
With smiling lips and sharp bright eyes which always seemed the same.
She thought, "The Count my lover is as brave as brave can be,
He would surely do wondrous things to prove his love for me,
Kings, ladies, lovers all look on!
The time is divine!
I'll drop my glove, to prove his love! Great glory will be mine!"
She dropped her glove, to prove his love, then looked at him and smiled.
He bowed, and in a moment, leaped among the lions wild!
The leap was quick, the return was quick, he had regained his place.
He threw the glove, but not with love, right in the lady's face!
"In truth!" cried Fransis, "Rightly done!" as he rose from where he sat.
"No love love," quoth he, "but vanity sets a lover task like that!"
My best friend sent me this poem once, because she thought I would like it. And I did. I hope you do too!!
Thursday, 12 April 2007
Funny!
I think that's the second time I write this title...
Anyway, what I find funny is this: I have a friend from Brazil who used to live here, but last October she had to go back there. Before she went away she gave me a little notebook that she had bought I don't know where. On the front (on the plastic cover of the notebook) there is a little girl winking, and under it, there is this written:
"Hope This Card Bring Happiness
My Fincere Greedings,the Coming Year On The
fullest Meassure"
Just like this, without the space after the Greedings (which actually should be greetings) and the rest mistakes. It was sweet of her to give me this little notebook, but after she had gone I read the cover and realized. I laughed sooooooooooo much!!
Anyway, what I find funny is this: I have a friend from Brazil who used to live here, but last October she had to go back there. Before she went away she gave me a little notebook that she had bought I don't know where. On the front (on the plastic cover of the notebook) there is a little girl winking, and under it, there is this written:
"Hope This Card Bring Happiness
My Fincere Greedings,the Coming Year On The
fullest Meassure"
Just like this, without the space after the Greedings (which actually should be greetings) and the rest mistakes. It was sweet of her to give me this little notebook, but after she had gone I read the cover and realized. I laughed sooooooooooo much!!
Monday, 9 April 2007
Another Joke...
Well, Mummy is really funny these days...! Last Monday our holidays and our trip to Madrid began, and when we saw some vineyards, Papa exclaimed, "Look! The vines are already shooting!", and Mama, with a sad face, commented, "Oh, I do hope there aren't any bunnies around..."
*Giggles*
P.S.: I will be posting about our trip to Madrid soon!! Oh, hadn't I told you? How thoughtless of me! We have been to Madrid for these Easter holidays... And had a great time! My parents advanced their birthday present to me (my birthday is next month) and gave me a camera! I got over 600 photos, and as soon as I can I will post some. =)
*Giggles*
P.S.: I will be posting about our trip to Madrid soon!! Oh, hadn't I told you? How thoughtless of me! We have been to Madrid for these Easter holidays... And had a great time! My parents advanced their birthday present to me (my birthday is next month) and gave me a camera! I got over 600 photos, and as soon as I can I will post some. =)
Thursday, 29 March 2007
Impossible!!
Papa asked us two impossible questions yesterday at suppertime.
What happens when an unstoppable object crashes on an impassable wall?
And,
A man has just invented a total dissolvent, but he has a problem... Where does he keep it?
What happens when an unstoppable object crashes on an impassable wall?
And,
A man has just invented a total dissolvent, but he has a problem... Where does he keep it?
Al's Joke
Speaking of jokes, I was thinking the other day while I was washing my teeth about a joke my brother Al made up.
When I turned eight a friend of ours gave me a big plush cow, which I named Fuchsia. Nice name, isn't it? I still have that cow. Well, on morning he got up before I did, and to wake me up, what do you think he said?
(Al) "Do you know what cows say when the wake up??"
(Me) "No" — Quite a short answer, but WHO cares for what cows say when being dragged out of a warm and comfy bed?
(Al) "Good Muuuuuuuuunin'!!!!!!"
When I turned eight a friend of ours gave me a big plush cow, which I named Fuchsia. Nice name, isn't it? I still have that cow. Well, on morning he got up before I did, and to wake me up, what do you think he said?
(Al) "Do you know what cows say when the wake up??"
(Me) "No" — Quite a short answer, but WHO cares for what cows say when being dragged out of a warm and comfy bed?
(Al) "Good Muuuuuuuuunin'!!!!!!"
Wednesday, 28 March 2007
They Are Back!!
Spring is totally settled now! And I will tell you why...
Although today is a gloomy day, this morning Mama went out to hang the washing, and came in with good news!
THE SWALLOWS ARE BACK!!
Last summer we had a wonderful time watching these two little, beautiful and diligent workers build carefully their nest outside our bicycle shed, and later care for their three little eggs, and even later, feed and teach their babies to fly. It was wonderful to hear Papa swallow sing early in the morning, watching perched on the fence as Mama swallow fed the babies... Then, when the babies grew up into big and fat swallows, we used to have supper outside on the garden table, and they would stay on the olive tree and watch us, chirruping and staring with their black-coal eyes. Then, when we cleared the table and went in, they would hide their soft fluffy heads under their wings and cluddle to sleep. It was sad when summer finished and they went away... But they are back again now!!
It is really amazing how God created sooooooooo many creatures and each and everyone has something different than the others that make us gasp in admiration or amaze.
Although today is a gloomy day, this morning Mama went out to hang the washing, and came in with good news!
THE SWALLOWS ARE BACK!!
Last summer we had a wonderful time watching these two little, beautiful and diligent workers build carefully their nest outside our bicycle shed, and later care for their three little eggs, and even later, feed and teach their babies to fly. It was wonderful to hear Papa swallow sing early in the morning, watching perched on the fence as Mama swallow fed the babies... Then, when the babies grew up into big and fat swallows, we used to have supper outside on the garden table, and they would stay on the olive tree and watch us, chirruping and staring with their black-coal eyes. Then, when we cleared the table and went in, they would hide their soft fluffy heads under their wings and cluddle to sleep. It was sad when summer finished and they went away... But they are back again now!!
It is really amazing how God created sooooooooo many creatures and each and everyone has something different than the others that make us gasp in admiration or amaze.
Tuesday, 27 March 2007
Have You Ever Tried...
...to write a story with a friend by e-mail?
I have, and it's wonderfully wonderful. I was thinking the other day that one of the best things God provided us is the imagination.
So, my friend or I have an idea, and tell each other. We write the idea down, then the other has an idea for the continuation, and we go like this until we finish the story. Then we write it down properly (we haven't reached that-yet, we are only by the beginning and naming the charters. I think that's one of the nicest part. You can make them boringly perfect, or amusingly crazy, you know, in the nice way, thoughtless, sort of distracted..., or just in between. Naming them is also fun... We invent up names like... hum ,just let me think... yes, like Markara or Dyar... And surnames! I'm not very good at surnames, it's my friend who names them... =S), and I think we'll print it and read it properly.
It's really fun! An then when it's finished, we realize that it's a very good story, and decide to publish it! (Don't worry, I'm only dreaming awake.)
But well, maybe you could try it? =)
I have, and it's wonderfully wonderful. I was thinking the other day that one of the best things God provided us is the imagination.
So, my friend or I have an idea, and tell each other. We write the idea down, then the other has an idea for the continuation, and we go like this until we finish the story. Then we write it down properly (we haven't reached that-yet, we are only by the beginning and naming the charters. I think that's one of the nicest part. You can make them boringly perfect, or amusingly crazy, you know, in the nice way, thoughtless, sort of distracted..., or just in between. Naming them is also fun... We invent up names like... hum ,just let me think... yes, like Markara or Dyar... And surnames! I'm not very good at surnames, it's my friend who names them... =S), and I think we'll print it and read it properly.
It's really fun! An then when it's finished, we realize that it's a very good story, and decide to publish it! (Don't worry, I'm only dreaming awake.)
But well, maybe you could try it? =)
Monday, 26 March 2007
I Have A Comment!!
Well, I was sort of disappointed 'cause I never got a comment... And then this morning' Mama was looking about and asked if I got comments. I said "No", and looked about. Suddenly she says, "Oh, yes! You have a comment alright!" And I asked where. And well, she showed it to me, and I had a comment!! I was so happy!!
It was from my cousin Anders Viking (that's how he calls himself! Nice name!), and it was very cute. If you want to visit his blog, you'll find the link in the link part...
I'm Happy!!
It was from my cousin Anders Viking (that's how he calls himself! Nice name!), and it was very cute. If you want to visit his blog, you'll find the link in the link part...
I'm Happy!!
Saturday, 24 March 2007
Mama Made Up Another Joke!!
¿Qué le dice un indio a otro indio cuando el primero le da un halcón?
—Tomahawk!!
Note: To get this one, you have to know both Spanish and English. And... Well, again, don't copy it unless you say that Gem's Mother made it up!!
—Tomahawk!!
Note: To get this one, you have to know both Spanish and English. And... Well, again, don't copy it unless you say that Gem's Mother made it up!!
Tuesday, 20 March 2007
How Am I Supposed To Take This?
Ok, ok. I'll tell you. We're on the 20th of March, and winter changes to spring tomorrow at 1 a.m. (so, this night, really). And what do you think it happens????????? The temperatures drop to 6 degrees Celsius (that's 42,8 Fahrenheit), and it begins to snow!!!!!! (Only for ten minutes, thou...)
Wow.
Tell me...
How Am I Supposed To Take This?
How am I supposed to take this?? I've been asking for a proper winter, and it comes when spring is supposed to begin!!!!! It happened last year too... But, dear me!!!! Now what?? It had been so warm these past days, going over 20 degrees Celsius, that's 68 Fahrenheit, I was in short sleeved shirts, we had lunch outside, we had our lessons outside, and then IUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!! Winter begins!!
I bet this won't last more than two weeks, anyway, so...
Wow.
Tell me...
How Am I Supposed To Take This?
How am I supposed to take this?? I've been asking for a proper winter, and it comes when spring is supposed to begin!!!!! It happened last year too... But, dear me!!!! Now what?? It had been so warm these past days, going over 20 degrees Celsius, that's 68 Fahrenheit, I was in short sleeved shirts, we had lunch outside, we had our lessons outside, and then IUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!! Winter begins!!
I bet this won't last more than two weeks, anyway, so...
Monday, 19 March 2007
Mama Made Up A Joke!!!!
What skin problems do elephants get?
Paquidermatitis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Note: Don't be copy-cats and copy it, unless of course, you mention that Gem's mother made it up!
Paquidermatitis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Note: Don't be copy-cats and copy it, unless of course, you mention that Gem's mother made it up!
Wednesday, 14 March 2007
A Wonderful Musical Time
Last Saturday my Father, my older sister Wendy and I went to the Barcelona's Music Museum Inauguration! Oh, it was something to see...
First of all, there was, of course, the inaguration speech. It was quite interesting. I remember the last sentence... "Long live Barcelona, but especially, LONG LIVE THE MUSIC!!"
There were several groups who played for the inauguration concert, and we attended two. Just let me go and check the programme... We attended the concert that the Municipal Barcelona Band (it was really an orchestra, and in Spanish it was called La Banda Municipal de Barcelona), and the Klimt Quintet (in Spanish, El Quinteto Klimt). It was really nice, and they played beautifully. And oh, the beautiful grand piano!!!!! It was B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L! Oh, I like grand pianos very much! It was black, and it shone like anything. And how it sounded!!
Then we went to visit the museum. As it was the inauguration, the entrance was free. It was a big corridor that went around and at the end you were at the same spot that when you began (good!!). So we started. There were huge glass showcases, and in them you could see al kind of instruments, from the oldest to the newest, and an explanation about the epoqhes and about the music fashions then. It was really very interesting. I wrote down a list of some of the instruments.
—There was an oboe made in the 18th century.
—There was a cello made in 1744, from Barcelona, Spain. =]
—There was a bassoon made in 1750.
—There was a harp made in 1775, from Paris, France.
—There was a guitar made in 1780, from Spain. =]
—There was a flute made in the 19th century.
—There was a violin made in 1803, from Paris, France.
—There was a grand piano made in 1820.
—There were castanets made in 1850, from Spain. =]
—There was a zither made in 1875, from Germany.
—There was a Pianola made in 1911, from the United States.
—There was a harmonica made in 1955, from Germany.
—There was an electric organ made in 1960, from Barcelona, Spain. =]
And I left the best ones for the end. One, THERE WAS A GLASS FLUTE made in 1844 from Paris, France!!!! Glass! Two, there was a sort of trombone that ended in a dragon face and was made of a sort of copper. It was made in 1800, and it was called "Boccen" in Catalan. (??) Three, there was like a long horn in a snake shape, made in the 17th century. It was also made of a sort of copper. And four, a sample of the first “CD’s”… My Papa explained to me how they worked. The disk is perforated in certain places, and the holes are of certain length or width. It is placed on a sort of piano, with the top up, like a grand piano. Then, you set the disk turning. As it turns around, little handles fall in the holes, and as they hammered the strings, they made the piano sound.
It was really something amazing. I did enjoy it! 'Cause you know, I LOVE MUSIC!!!!!
First of all, there was, of course, the inaguration speech. It was quite interesting. I remember the last sentence... "Long live Barcelona, but especially, LONG LIVE THE MUSIC!!"
There were several groups who played for the inauguration concert, and we attended two. Just let me go and check the programme... We attended the concert that the Municipal Barcelona Band (it was really an orchestra, and in Spanish it was called La Banda Municipal de Barcelona), and the Klimt Quintet (in Spanish, El Quinteto Klimt). It was really nice, and they played beautifully. And oh, the beautiful grand piano!!!!! It was B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L! Oh, I like grand pianos very much! It was black, and it shone like anything. And how it sounded!!
Then we went to visit the museum. As it was the inauguration, the entrance was free. It was a big corridor that went around and at the end you were at the same spot that when you began (good!!). So we started. There were huge glass showcases, and in them you could see al kind of instruments, from the oldest to the newest, and an explanation about the epoqhes and about the music fashions then. It was really very interesting. I wrote down a list of some of the instruments.
—There was an oboe made in the 18th century.
—There was a cello made in 1744, from Barcelona, Spain. =]
—There was a bassoon made in 1750.
—There was a harp made in 1775, from Paris, France.
—There was a guitar made in 1780, from Spain. =]
—There was a flute made in the 19th century.
—There was a violin made in 1803, from Paris, France.
—There was a grand piano made in 1820.
—There were castanets made in 1850, from Spain. =]
—There was a zither made in 1875, from Germany.
—There was a Pianola made in 1911, from the United States.
—There was a harmonica made in 1955, from Germany.
—There was an electric organ made in 1960, from Barcelona, Spain. =]
And I left the best ones for the end. One, THERE WAS A GLASS FLUTE made in 1844 from Paris, France!!!! Glass! Two, there was a sort of trombone that ended in a dragon face and was made of a sort of copper. It was made in 1800, and it was called "Boccen" in Catalan. (??) Three, there was like a long horn in a snake shape, made in the 17th century. It was also made of a sort of copper. And four, a sample of the first “CD’s”… My Papa explained to me how they worked. The disk is perforated in certain places, and the holes are of certain length or width. It is placed on a sort of piano, with the top up, like a grand piano. Then, you set the disk turning. As it turns around, little handles fall in the holes, and as they hammered the strings, they made the piano sound.
It was really something amazing. I did enjoy it! 'Cause you know, I LOVE MUSIC!!!!!
A Moon Eclipse
There was a Moon Eclipse two Saturdays ago! (It was the 3rd of March, I think!)It was really nice. I really like stars and the sky in general. We could see Orion, Cassiopeia, and the North Star… But the eclipse was the best! It started at about half past ten p.m., and it was a complete eclipse at about quarter past twelve a.m. We didn’t stay up sufficiently late to see the last of it, because tomorrow was Sunday. It finished at about two a.m., but we did saw it complete. It was beautiful. It had gained a reddish tone, and it didn’t shine. We went to bed at half past twelve, or so. But what I think funny is… Just before it was a complete eclipse and we were quarrelling for the binoculars (we weren’t. I was just joking), I heard a strange sound. I said, “Hush everyone! Is that a frog?” but it wasn’t. It did sound like one though, and I was about to go and explore what the noise had been, when everyone exclaimed, “Look everyone!! In front of the moon!” and we all looked. Right there, like a pterodactyl (that’s what Bro said it looked like), was a huge, dark bird, flying before the moon. That was what had made the noise!
I really enjoyed that MOON ECLIPSE!!
I really enjoyed that MOON ECLIPSE!!
Saturday, 3 March 2007
Don't Mind Me
Yeah, don't mind me at all. I just found this silly web that I've been searching for ages, and I posted some of the things I liked most. DON'T MIND ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How Many Homeschooling Mothers Does It Take To Screw In A Light Bulb?
ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the lightbulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS. But if they did, by any chance, find and change the lightbulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID lightbulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THAT THE STUPID $#@!*^&% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN. WHY??? BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! THE HOUSE!!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS............................
Rudolf, The Red
An America couple was being shown around Moscow one day, when the man felt a drop hit his nose.
"I think it's raining," he said to his wife.
"No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied.
"No, I'm sure it was just rain," he said.
Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing.
"Let's not fight about it!" the man said. "Let's ask our guide, Rudolph, whether it's officially raining or snowing."
As their tour guide approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"
"It's raining, of course," he replied officiously.
But the woman insisted, "I know that it felt like snow!"
The man quietly replied, "Rudolph, the Red, knows rain, dear!"
"I think it's raining," he said to his wife.
"No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied.
"No, I'm sure it was just rain," he said.
Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing.
"Let's not fight about it!" the man said. "Let's ask our guide, Rudolph, whether it's officially raining or snowing."
As their tour guide approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"
"It's raining, of course," he replied officiously.
But the woman insisted, "I know that it felt like snow!"
The man quietly replied, "Rudolph, the Red, knows rain, dear!"
Computer Language For Non-Computer Users
Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter.
Log Off: Don't add any more wood.
Monitor: Keep an eye on the wood stove.
Download: Gettin' the firewood off the pickup.
Mega Hertz: When yer not careful downloadin' (watch th' toes).
Floppy Disk: Whatcha get from pilin' too much firewood.
Disk Operating System: The equipment the Doc uses when you have a floppy disk.
RAM: The hydraulic thingy that makes the woodsplitter work.
Hard Drive: Gettin' home in mud season.
Prompt: What you wish the mail was in mud season.
Windows: What to shut when it's 50 degrees, and that's real cold in Milpitas!
Screen: What you need for black fly season.
Byte: What black flies do.
Chip: What to munch on.
Micro Chip: What's left in the bag when the chips are gone.
Infrared: Where the leftovers go when Fred's around.
Modem: What you did to the hay fields.
Dot Matrix: John Matrix's wife.
Printer:: Someone who can't write in cursive.
Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy.
Keyboard: Where you hang your keys.
Software: Them plastic eatin' utensils.
486: One of them fancy imported cars.
Mouse: What eats the horses' grain in the barn.
Main Frame: The part of the barn that holds the roof up.
Port: Fancy wine.
Enter: C'mon in!
Random Access Memory: When you suddenly can't remember how much that new rifle costs when your wife asks.
Digital: Like those numbers that flip on your alarm clock.
Apple: If you don't know what an apple is, I ain't tellin'.
Program: What's on the TV when TCI has reception.
CD ROM: The place in the back where they sell retirement accounts.
Log Off: Don't add any more wood.
Monitor: Keep an eye on the wood stove.
Download: Gettin' the firewood off the pickup.
Mega Hertz: When yer not careful downloadin' (watch th' toes).
Floppy Disk: Whatcha get from pilin' too much firewood.
Disk Operating System: The equipment the Doc uses when you have a floppy disk.
RAM: The hydraulic thingy that makes the woodsplitter work.
Hard Drive: Gettin' home in mud season.
Prompt: What you wish the mail was in mud season.
Windows: What to shut when it's 50 degrees, and that's real cold in Milpitas!
Screen: What you need for black fly season.
Byte: What black flies do.
Chip: What to munch on.
Micro Chip: What's left in the bag when the chips are gone.
Infrared: Where the leftovers go when Fred's around.
Modem: What you did to the hay fields.
Dot Matrix: John Matrix's wife.
Printer:: Someone who can't write in cursive.
Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy.
Keyboard: Where you hang your keys.
Software: Them plastic eatin' utensils.
486: One of them fancy imported cars.
Mouse: What eats the horses' grain in the barn.
Main Frame: The part of the barn that holds the roof up.
Port: Fancy wine.
Enter: C'mon in!
Random Access Memory: When you suddenly can't remember how much that new rifle costs when your wife asks.
Digital: Like those numbers that flip on your alarm clock.
Apple: If you don't know what an apple is, I ain't tellin'.
Program: What's on the TV when TCI has reception.
CD ROM: The place in the back where they sell retirement accounts.
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